Q&A: Managing Peers After Promotion

Transitioning from a peer to a manager can be one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences in one's career journey. However, managing peers after promotion presents an entirely new set of challenges that can test even the most seasoned professionals. From navigating shifts in dynamics to balancing personal relationships with professional responsibilities, the journey from colleague to manager is not without its hurdles.

In this blog post, we'll explore some of the common challenges new managers face when tasked with leading their former peers and provide actionable strategies for overcoming these obstacles to foster a positive and productive work environment.

How do you handle a situation where you and a peer were both competing for the manager role and you received the promotion to manager? Now there is tension between you and your now direct report.

As much as you may want to ignore it, you’ve already taken the first step in acknowledging that the situation exists. Recognize that the other person may be feeling disappointed or resentful about not being selected for the manager role. Next, you’re going to need to be the one to initiate the conversation and have a candid, respectful conversation with this person. Find a private and neutral setting where you can discuss the situation openly. Express your understanding of their feelings and the importance of maintaining a positive working relationship moving forward. Allow them to express their thoughts and feelings about the situation without interrupting or becoming defensive. Actively listen to their perspective and try to understand their concerns.

Clearly communicate your intentions to work collaboratively and professionally with them despite the outcome of the manager selection process. Emphasize the importance of teamwork and maintaining a supportive work environment. Identify areas of common interest or shared goals where you can continue to collaborate effectively. Focus on building trust and finding ways to work together constructively.

If the tension persists, it may be necessary to establish boundaries to maintain a professional working relationship. Avoid engaging in gossip or negative behavior, and focus on maintaining a positive and respectful attitude. If you're unable to resolve the tension on your own, consider seeking mediation or assistance from a neutral third party, such as a manager or HR representative. They can help facilitate a constructive dialogue and find a resolution to the conflict. And remember, lead by example and demonstrate professionalism and maturity in your interactions with this person. Show respect and kindness, even in difficult situations, and strive to create a positive and inclusive work environment for everyone.

What do you do when you're already aware of the shortcomings of an individual contributor on your team that you are now managing?

When you're aware of the shortcomings of an individual contributor on your team, it's important to approach the situation with sensitivity and tact, especially as a new manager. Before taking any action, take the time to assess the individual's performance objectively. Identify specific areas where they are falling short and how it is impacting team productivity or goals. Try to understand the root causes behind the individual's shortcomings. Are there any external factors contributing to their performance issues, such as lack of training, resources, or personal challenges? Understanding the underlying reasons can help you address the problem more effectively.

Next, schedule a one-on-one meeting with the individual to provide constructive feedback on their performance. Approach the conversation with empathy and focus on specific behaviors or actions that need improvement. Offer support and guidance on how they can address their shortcomings and improve their performance. This could include additional training, mentoring, or access to resources that can help them succeed in their role. Clearly communicate your expectations for their performance going forward. Be specific about what success looks like and how their performance will be evaluated. Provide them with actionable steps they can take to meet these expectations.

Regularly check in with the individual to monitor their progress and provide ongoing feedback and support. Celebrate small wins and milestones along the way to keep them motivated and engaged. If the individual's performance does not improve despite your efforts to support them, be prepared to address the issue more formally. Document performance issues and follow your organization's procedures for addressing performance concerns, which may include coaching, performance improvement plans, or disciplinary action if necessary.

Overall, it's important to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and a willingness to support the individual in improving their performance. As a new manager, addressing performance issues can be challenging, but it's an essential part of your role in helping your team succeed.

How do you address a former peer individual contributor who is acting out against you and undermining your new level of authority?

Dealing with a former peer who is acting out against you and disrespecting your new level of authority can be a challenging situation. Don't ignore the disrespectful behavior or hope it will go away on its own (newsflash: it doesn’t). Address it promptly and directly. Pull the individual aside for a private conversation to discuss their behavior and its impact on the team. It's important to remain calm and composed during the conversation, even if you feel frustrated or upset. Avoid responding with anger or aggression, as this can escalate the situation further.

Try to understand the reasons behind the individual's behavior. Are they struggling with the transition to your new role as their manager? Are there any underlying issues or concerns they have that need to be addressed? Give the individual an opportunity to express their perspective and concerns. Actively listen to what they have to say without interrupting or dismissing their feelings.

Next, you’re going to need to clearly communicate your expectations for respectful behavior in the workplace. Explain how their actions are not acceptable and how they are undermining the team's success. Clearly establish boundaries regarding acceptable behavior and the consequences of continued disrespect. Make it clear that disrespectful behavior will not be tolerated and may result in disciplinary action.

After addressing the behavior, follow up with the individual to ensure that the message has been understood and that they are making an effort to improve their behavior. Provide ongoing feedback and support as needed. Keep a record of any incidents of disrespectful behavior, including dates, times, and specific details of what occurred. This documentation may be helpful if further action is necessary. If the disrespectful behavior continues despite your efforts to address it, consider involving HR or higher management for additional support and guidance. They can help mediate the situation and provide further assistance in resolving the issue.

Despite the challenges, continue to focus on building a positive working relationship with the individual. Offer support and encouragement as they adjust to your new role as their manager.

As an individual contributor, you were part of a tight-knit group of peers who also spent personal time together on the weekends. What are some tips for navigating these relationships in your new role?

Navigating relationships with former peers who are also part of your personal social circle can be tricky when you transition into a new managerial role. First, be transparent with your friends about the changes in your role and how it may impact your relationship dynamics. Encourage open communication and assure them that your personal relationship won't be affected by your new managerial responsibilities.

Strive to strike a balance between your personal and professional interactions with your friends. While it's okay to socialize outside of work, be mindful of maintaining a level of professionalism when discussing work-related matters or making decisions that could impact them. Clearly communicate your expectations for how you will interact with your friends in both personal and professional settings. Let them know that while you value your friendship, you also have a responsibility to uphold your role as their manager.

While it's important to maintain friendly and respectful relationships with your former peers, it's equally crucial to establish boundaries and maintain professionalism in your interactions. Avoid showing favoritism or sharing confidential information that could compromise your position as their manager. Be mindful of potential conflicts of interest that may arise from your personal relationships with your friends. Avoid putting yourself in situations where your personal bias could impact your decision-making as a manager.

It's essential to treat all team members, including your friends, fairly and impartially. Avoid giving preferential treatment or making exceptions for your friends, as this can undermine trust and credibility within the team. Don't hesitate to seek feedback and support from your own manager if you encounter challenges in navigating your relationships with former peers who are also friends. They can provide guidance and resources to help you navigate these relationships effectively.

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Transitioning from being a peer to a manager can present numerous challenges, particularly when managing former colleagues who were once equals. However, with proactive communication, empathy, and a commitment to professionalism, these obstacles can be overcome. Whether it's addressing tensions stemming from competitive job applications, navigating performance issues, or managing conflicts arising from disrespectful behavior, the key lies in addressing these challenges head-on with honesty, understanding, and clear expectations.

Furthermore, when personal relationships overlap with professional responsibilities, establishing boundaries, maintaining fairness, and seeking support when needed are essential for fostering a positive work environment. By navigating these complexities with grace and integrity, new managers can successfully lead their teams to success while preserving the bonds of friendship and respect.